commercial analysis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3t6bLugtJkQ This commercial I picked is a Chevy commercial from 2014. Looking at the rhetoric triangle, Chevy is the presenter in this commercial and the target is people looking to buy a new car. I think the commercial also targets dog lovers. The commercial starts out showing us a woman with her dog that seems to be sick/old. Then the commercial shows us a bunch of moments from the woman’s life and her dog was with her through all of them. Including a moment when she is learning how to drive a Chevy and the dog is in the car with her. They start in present day and flashback all the way to the first day she got her dog. The purpose is to make the audience feel emotional by using pathos. We see how strong the relationship is with her and her dog. The commercial foreshadows that the dog is about to be put down so this makes the audience sad, but at the same time watching all the memories between the dog and her owner makes t...
Within your paper Anna I suggest you do three main things: rewrite your procedure section, add headings for the discussion section, and add an appendix.
ReplyDeleteIn your procedure section, you spend time writing your questions. Instead, I recommend that you talk more about your survey. I liked how you stated the answers were anonymous. I would add why and how that may have given you more honest answers. I do not think this section needs to never long if you get to the point of what you conducted for research.
In your discussion section, I recommend adding headings to seperate the infromation. By doing this you will make the section clearer for the reader to understand. In your first paragraph I would add the subheading "Summary" to give the reader a quick run down of what they just read. Next, I would add "Limitations" to address the issues within the research. Lastly, I would add the subheading "Future Researcher" and go into more detail about what they can do to help this problem. Also within the discussion section I would add a subheading and paragraph about the implications of the research. This will show how your resesrch can make an effect on teens self-esteem.
I think you have a great paper! I just want you to get full points so I recommend you add an appendix to the end of your paper. I understand you did this within your procedure section, but simply list your questions on the last page.
Nice job!
I think overall you did use formal concise language in your paper. You were very concise with your results which is good. I cant tell if you summarized your outside findings in your into paragraph, but I would check with Hem and see if you have to cite those. Also make sure to add and appendix.
ReplyDeleteI think your abstract was written well. It gives and overview of everything thats talked about in the paper and that is good. Also your intro was written well. I clearly saw the gap in the research and you listed the question of study. One thing I suggest maybe fixing is the last paragraph in the intro. The last paragraph in the intro kinda felt like you were talking about the procedure.
In the procedure section, I think you should not list all the questions. Just talk about the overview of the study and what you did to get the results. The questions will be in your abstract.
You have good data in your results section, but you should introduce the results before you give the data. Throwing the data graphs and charts in without a brief intro may be a little bit confusing.
Lastly, I think you should add some subheadings in the discussion section. If you look at the sample papers we analyzed in class, you can see what I am talking about.
Overall I think your paper is well written and has some good data. Even though there are some minor things you can fix, I believe it is still a good paper!